Why Relationship Building is Your Fundraising Superpower
Relationships.
Our entire lives are based around interactions with others – from the minute we are born we are creating a connection with our caretakers, to creating friendships in school, and then navigating relationships with colleagues – each phase in our life is based around communicating and engaging with others.
It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise but as fundraisers, it is our job to be good at fostering transformative relationships. You might say that it’s our superpower.
Here are some tips and tricks on how I’ve created lasting and trusting relationships in my professional career in fundraising.
The art of relationship building in your fundraising
So what is relationship building? Relationship building is actively working towards a mutual understanding by maximizing connection, engagement and trust.
If there is only one piece that you take from this it’s the two highlighted words above – actively and trust. In my experience, these are the two most important aspects of building successful, lasting relationships.
Relationship building is a full contact sport – especially in our role as fundraisers. I would be shocked if any successful fundraisers took a passive role in the relationships with their donors / partners. It is critical that we are taking an active role in building and strengthening our relationships in a personalized way. There is a reason why we track activity (contacts / touches / etc), haha.
When we are doing our jobs correctly, our donors, supporters, partners, are giving our organizations two of their most valued assets; their money and their time. The only way that we can accomplish this is by showing that we can be trusted and our organization is trustworthy. Our role as fundraisers can be tricky at times – it is our job to raise money for our organizations, but it is absolutely crucial that we prioritize our donors’ intentions and maybe even respectfully turning down a donation if it doesn’t align with the mission. Show them that you can be a trusted partner and resource and that your organization will be a good steward of their gifts.
Relationships Take Time
Alright – so maybe I lied. There is something that is equally important that I want you to take from this. Relationships take time. Let me say it again, relationships take time.
One of my favorite professional relationships started when I began my role as the Director of Corporate Relations with the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra. Jay (name changed for confidentiality) was a Board member for the orchestra and was the representative from one of top corporate sponsors at the time. When I started, the orchestra was just getting back to playing in-person concerts again after the COVID-19 pandemic and I knew the importance of renewing and reengaging our corporate sponsors. Jay was one of the first meetings I took in my new role and we hit it off immediately. We got to work hand in hand towards a well thought out and strategic sponsorship proposal – he played a critical role in being the orchestra’s advocate at the company but also the “inside person”, to help us craft a perfectly tailored ask. I believe that because of our strong partnership, we were able to increase their support by 125% for the next orchestra season. Our relationship has continued to this day. We have gotten together on a number of occasions socially and he has even generously served as a reference for my current job!
Now, not every relationship with our donors will play out like this – I would say that 90% of them don’t go beyond a professional fundraiser / donor relationship. However, I firmly believe that because I was actively pursuing a partnership through strong communication as well as trusting his feedback and showing him that I was trustworthy (by taking his feedback and making adjustments accordingly) I was able to solidify a lasting relationship where I found success professionally as well as a lifelong friend.
Cultivating and maintaining fundraising relationships
First off, I should clarify that I am not implying that any of us should assume that our donors and colleagues become our best friends – there always needs to be a level of professionalism in our work. How we approach our relationships can affect the impact we make and our success as fundraisers. Here are some tips and tricks on how I have been able to create and maintain strong relationships with my donors, board members and colleagues.
Listen:
Early on in my fundraising career, a colleague said to me “be the one that talks the least”. At the time, I was confused – we have so many interesting programs and projects to share, I need to tell them about EVERYTHING! Here’s the thing, if we are talking the most, how are we ever going to understand what’s important to them and what their passions are?
Active listening is a crucial skill for all of us to work on if we want to be successful in building strong relationships. It will allow your conversations to transform into a meaningful non-competitive, two-way interaction which will provide an opportunity for you to fully understand what is being said to you.
Be curious:
I’ve never really understood the saying “Curiosity killed the cat” – why is it bad to be curious? As fundraisers, it’s our job to always be curious about our donors.
What was your experience like with our organization? Where do you like to spend your free time? Who made an impact on your life? Why do you support our organization? How would you like to be remembered?
Be genuinely curious about the people you are meeting with. My guess is you have some common ground with every person you engage with, whether it’s mission, experience, or passion, so lean into that and ask questions. Make sure to do your research before your meeting so you can ask strategic questions while still being inquisitive and personal.
Create a partnership:
Right or wrong, a lot of the time we see our donors as potential dollar figures. I would also assume that many of our donors think that all we want is their dollars. While I think both are true to an extent, I believe the key to cultivating a faithful, lasting donor is by establishing a trusting partnership.
I used to try to hide the fact that my job was to ask for money – talk about not establishing trust. Well, now as a more “seasoned” fundraiser, I don’t hide from this part of my job while also sharing that I am here to understand their philanthropic priorities and be a good steward of their generous support. I will share that I don’t plan on asking them for a gift in our first meeting, but that at some point in our relationships, I will ask them to consider supporting my organization. These small but intentional steps help to ensure that my relationship with them will truly be a partnership.
Advocate:
I was grabbing drinks with a close friend and fellow fundraising colleague and we started talking about how protective I am over my family and friends. She said to me, that’s not being over-protective, you’re just being their advocate.
As fundraisers, we are typically put right in the middle of our donors’ ideas and wishes and our organization’s priorities and mission – dare I say we tend to side with the organization more times than not? While I understand the reasons why this is, it is okay to be an advocate for your donor as well. Even if the answer may end up being no, showing your donors that you are willing to speak on their behalf and support their interests will go a long way in building a strong relationship with them.
Diving even deeper, be an advocate for your colleagues and friends. Celebrate their successes, nominate them for awards, recommend them for promotions, listen (actively) to them when they are looking for support, and be their biggest cheerleader when times are tough.
Set Expectations
Early on in my fundraising career I found myself almost trying to hide the fact that my job was literally my job to raise money. I would always lead with the relationship and was inconsistent in asking the right questions that would move towards asking for support. What I failed to realize is that these individuals that I was sitting across from were (most likely) expecting me to ask for money. I was actually putting our relationship in jeopardy by not asking.
No matter what our title is, chances are that our donors know that we will be asking for money at some point. Don’t be like me and try to have some secret agenda and surprise them with an ask some day. Nobody likes surprises like this. Instead set expectations with them. Many of my initial visits now start off like this:
“Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me. I am really looking forward to learning more about your experience with (my organization) and the impact it has had on your life. I want this visit / meeting to be a way to thank you for your previous / continued support. While I won’t be asking for a gift during this visit / meeting, at some point we will have a conversation about how you can support (this organization) in a way that is meaningful to you.”
Being clear and setting the expectations will set the tone for an honest and trusting relationship!
Build your network
We’ve all heard the “It’s not what you know, but who you know” phrase, usually because someone got a job that is perceived to be less deserving. What if though, that person that got the job was deserving but also had been intentional about the relationship that they were fostering. Maybe that one extra step of building professional relationships was the deciding factor for the hiring team?
I can say that I’ve lived this firsthand. In my most recent interview process, I had a half hour meeting with an AVP. Within minutes of starting, they asked if I knew a couple individuals to which I said yes. We both shared how much we enjoyed them and how we knew them. Between the time that it took for me to leave the meeting and get to my car, the AVP had texted one of these mutual contacts expressing how much they enjoyed meeting me and how excited they were for me to join the team (humble brag). Is this the only reason that I got the job? I would like to think not…but it certainly didn’t hurt!
While your professional network can certainly help you with finding new job opportunities, your donor network can help you secure your next gift. I think it is safe to assume that many of the individuals that we work with are connected in some way – alumni classes, donors who are passionate about similar mission or affinities mostly likely have their own networks set up (formally or informally). A great practice that a former colleague of mine would follow at the end of a donor meeting is to ask for names of others that she should reach out and connect with. Who knows – maybe you’ll leave a meeting with a donor and they’ll be reaching out to their network to share what a wonderful person you are and encourage them to connect with you too!
Be a Relationship Superhero!
I don’t think it’s a secret that our world, our lives all revolve around relationships. Our role as fundraisers – or really, community connectors and mission advocates, for our respective organizations relies on our ability to build dynamic and lasting relationships. As we navigate the ever changing landscape and unpredictability of philanthropy, let’s focus on what we can control – fostering relationships and connecting people to the mission of our organization.
I hope this is (just a little bit) helpful as you get out and make those connections. I love chatting and connecting with anyone so reach out!
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Matt Zager is currently the Director of Advancement at the Eastman School of Music, University of Rochester. He has also worked for the Monroe Community College Foundation, Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra and Roberts Wesleyan University. He currently serves as Board Co-Chair for Rochester Young Professionals, Secretary for the Association of Fundraising Professionals Genesee Valley chapter (AFPGV), and as a board member for Delphi Rise.
Connect with Matt:Email: zager.matthew@gmail.com