Finding strength in vulnerability: Alexandra Miles and the heart behind Project Blackbird

Tasha: [00:00:00] Can you please introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your nonprofit origin story?

Alexandra: Yes. Alexandra Miles is my name, and I thank you so much, Tasha, too, for doing this.

I founded Project Blackbird back in 20. 22, and it was based around as many nonprofits are. It was based around a struggle that I had, which made me particularly passionate about this cause, about mental health, mental health for the youth, mental health for underserved communities that, don’t experience a lot of safety and a lot of normalcy around mental health discussion.

Back in 2018, I was diagnosed with anorexia. I went to a treatment center. I was there for about eight months. And while I was there, I met a young woman who was very different than I was. We both came from very different communities. We had different traumas. We actually were diagnosed with two different disorders, both eating disorders, but different disorders.

Different personalities. She didn’t really speak much. I was very outspoken, [00:01:00] both of which were ways that we were deflecting from our own pain. I couldn’t handle thinking about what I was going through or addressing it, so I focused on others. And the other young woman, Kendra Williams, who I called Blackbird because she had a tattoo of a blackbird on her neck.

She shut down more, and, was less communicative. And that was also her way of disconnecting. We connected very deeply because we both experienced a lot of shame and silence from our community, from our family, from those that we knew around mental health and talking about mental health in a more specific way.

So, you hear anxiety thrown out, you hear mental health, but you don’t hear anyone saying, Hey, I have an eating disorder. Or, Hey, I am, struggling with suicidal ideation. I don’t wanna live right now. You don’t hear people really having that dialogue. And so when we both realized that while we were so different, we were experiencing something very similar in our communities, we connected very deeply.

Now, fast forward then, 2022 [00:02:00] created the organization. And what this organization became was a way to help end the stigma amongst those different populations, but also to directly provide care in kind of a model that we created, that follows. The path of awareness plus engagement, plus support, all in the moment creates change and impact.

Which I’ll explain, momentarily, but essentially what we do is we run a program where we created a film. It’s a narrative film, and it’s 13 minutes long, and we share this film to bring in the students to bring in the community, but then I will stand in front of them and I’ll share with them that it’s actually based on my story.

So it engages them. And then I let them know that while they’ve seen my story, there are other stories that presented differently. And I bring in front of them public figures that they know. NFL players or other athletes we have worked with, various actors, singers, performers, [00:03:00] public figures, and honestly, the real beauty of that is that these students and other community members, they see their heroes just talking about being human, and they realize that their heroes are people too, and they struggle and it’s okay. And these heroes and public figures and role models start to redefine. Vulnerability, strength as vulnerability.

It is strong to be vulnerable. It is strong to say, I’m not okay and I need help. Let’s not end it at, I’m not, okay, let’s continue and say, actually, I need help. Yeah. So it’s this full program where we do that. That’s the awareness piece. We engage students in journal prompts and then we offer free therapy for a year.

We pay for it through the organization. And then we build a resource fair in the back of the room so that those students can directly connect with resources or community members can directly connect. And that’s just a little bit about, I guess what the organization is, but where it came from also.

Tasha: That’s amazing. Founders are always so interesting on so many levels, right? Like, why did they jump in and put it all out [00:04:00] there for a nonprofit? And I think the stories are always very personal. Lots of nonprofit professionals have very personal stories for why they get in.

Yeah. But founders and particular, I just, I love that. And, just the blackbird parts, is poignant and just touching. I really love what you guys have

Alexandra: done and thank you. Much of it honestly was by accident and I don’t know if you got this a lot, but so many pieces of the organization.

I never made the film thinking I was gonna start an organization. Somebody asked me, why did you make this film? And I realized that I wanted it to impact people. I wanted someone to understand what lies behind mental health, not. Look at it as someone that’s just broken, but understand what lies behind mental health struggle and empathize.

And that developed into the nonprofit. And as I was shaping the nonprofit, someone said to me, what if you do an anonymous journal swap like you talk about in the film? I’m like, that’s brilliant, let’s do that. But it really was listening to others around me and just never letting it be incumbent and knowing.

I want the goal to be and let’s [00:05:00] just keep letting it happen as a, and it’s still changing every single day, and it will continue to change. In all of its existence, but shared,

Tasha: lived experience. We don’t highlight, I think, in society how critical that is. Whether it’s like you noted these kind of like influencers, people admire, but it’s sometimes within your own family unit.

There’s stories that we don’t share, right? Yeah. And how powerful those are for like, creating connections and finding that support you need. Love it. So this is usually the easiest question for people, but what’s your favorite part of working in nonprofit? What have you just loved about this, since you started your own nonprofit?

Alexandra: Honestly, what you’ve built and what you do. It’s meeting. It’s meeting the people that I do now in my space. It is other nonprofit founders, other nonprofits, different foundations when I get to meet with different foundations, but also I’m in the mental health space. So when I’m working with a lot of [00:06:00] treatment centers or others that care about mental health that come on to partner, that are one of our resources, even our sponsors, even when they’re not in the mental health space themselves, even when it’s a big brand, something about.

Mental health and nonprofits, when I come to the table and when it’s surrounding that conversation, the kindness that exudes from so many people that I work with, I always feel so lucky to know the people that I know now. And I always feel safe and I always feel like I can be myself and not have to put on any kind of a facade.

I can be myself in front of all of my business partners and who are also friends. I think that’s the most wonderful piece of it. Absolutely.

Tasha: And challenges though, because nonprofits a quirky sector, and I know you’ve done a beautiful job. I feel like I should have you on at some point for one of our panels to go, like, how was it built?

Because you’re talking about sponsors and [00:07:00] foundations and everything. Some of those are the trickiest parts that people go, oh my goodness, the challenges of nonprofit. But for yourself, what are some of the biggest challenges on this road?

Alexandra: Of course for any nonprofit, and this is real, the finances and funding especially now.

I think on that piece, for me it’s been because we have a very public facing nonprofit and because we have a lot of events, sponsors were our first, financing. That’s who came on first. Where I’ve had a lot of trouble actually, and where I’m starting to build, on the financing side is, donors, foundations.

It takes a long time to build relationships with foundations and it takes a lot to build trust amongst donors too.

And so I think learning that process of building trust in that space, being patient with it, it takes a lot of time. Grants are difficult and it’s difficult in this time, getting grants.

So [00:08:00] just honestly learning how to navigate that space. I think one of the challenges that I’ve had, that I will end on that I can shape positively is it was difficult for me and it has been difficult in the past, kind of year and a half. To start to separate myself from the organization and to start to allow others to step in and champion it as I do.

For example, we’re planning our gala now and it is really weird for me to take a step back and have these, and watch these committee chairs really build this committee on their own without me having to ask and say, have you done this? Have you done that? Really being able to say, actually, maybe someone else does care about this just as much as I do, and I have to get rid of that guilt in the back of my mind where I constantly think, what do I owe them?

What do I have to do? I don’t owe them anything. I don’t have to do anything. I don’t owe myself anything. We’re all doing this because we care about the cause, because we [00:09:00] care about what’s happening. And so starting to trust that I have built, I’ve built something that. Actually helps to support this cause in a very tangible way that I don’t have to worry about really convincing or, asking.

It’s being supported because the cause is worth supporting and because we built something that really helps support that cause.

Tasha: As a founder, it’s really challenging to take that step back. We’re working right now quite a bit at the nonprofit hive on what are the ways we can decentralize.

Leadership here. Yeah. And maybe you’ve had this experience, maybe not like they, they’re almost at the very beginning. A cult of personality just comes up because you are the one out there. You’re the one who’s the loudest cheerleader. Yeah. But finding that space to roll it back and go, oh no, there’s lots of other brilliant voices here.

And they should be heard. And what can I highlight of what they’re doing? How can I let their voice be louder than mine? Because. Ultimately, you’re building a [00:10:00] community too. You’re building this beautiful collection of people that have something shared, but very different reasons why they’re here.

Yeah. It’s so powerful, but I don’t wanna be the one in the way stopping it from growing.

Alexandra: And then taking care of your own mental health as a founder and that’s a piece of it too, when you are finally able to delegate some of this. You can’t do this alone. Nobody can do this alone.

And we need the support and being able to acknowledge also, I need time to step away and I need time for myself too. And when I say separating myself too from the organization, not in a bad way, but in a way that says, okay, that was organization time and now it’s me time and now I am allowed to celebrate my own mental wellness and do something.

It’s a huge piece of mental health.

Tasha: Yeah, for sure. And so one of the questions I always ask is about, the importance of peers and this relates to as someone being a nonprofit, having nonprofit peers. But I think what’s really cool is you’re [00:11:00] building this peer focused, peer like lived experience sharing community as part of your nonprofit as well.

So you know, how do you see those peer connections? In both Project Blackbird, but for yourself as a nonprofit professional, helping you move forward.

Alexandra: So I think there are so many different answers to this. There are so many different peer connections that are happening in the nonprofit space.

This might not be exactly what you’re asking, so let me know. I can gear an answer slightly differently, but what I have found is that. So I say this when I go to film festivals, when I go to conferences, anything that is stereotypically a networking space. I’m not there for a transaction. I’m there to make a friend.

Later on. And it might be right after, or it might be five years down the road. In fact, I was just having a conversation about my meeting just before this, colleague of mine from a film festival that I’ve been friends [00:12:00] with and seeing. For years and just now we’ve discovered what we wanna work on together.

When you really enjoy somebody as a person, you have the energy and motivation to do something greater with that person. Or to help that person. We can all help each other no matter what industry we’re in, no matter what our goals are, we can all help somebody that we care about.

So I think it’s more about as, when you talk about peers. It’s about making a friend. Yeah. It’s about, finding the peers in your life that you respect and care about and enjoy being around and then creating something with them and working together with them. And then I think also from the standpoint of the students and community members, the peer aspect of that is.

When you vocalize something that you are going through, struggling with ashamed of, it creates the safety for somebody else to do the same thing. So it’s not being [00:13:00] selfish by saying it, it’s creating just an environment where you’re opening up to your peers and you’re letting them do you. You’re letting them do the same and you’re creating connection.

So we encourage our students and our other audiences. To create that for others and to build these peer circles. And we actually have, some different partnerships in the works, that I won’t name exactly who, but, partners that create peer-to-peer conversation. We’re not trying to reinvent the wheel, so working with them to say, and here’s another resource you can use, where you actually can then create, some peer-to-peer relationships.

Tasha: That’s a fantastic answer by the way. I love that. Because it is really interesting. One of the things that I found, ’cause initially when I started all of the nonprofit, I was like, oh, people are just gonna get together and complain about nonprofit. I’m giving a safe space to complain about nonprofit with a stranger, right?

That you don’t know. So it’s safe and that is true. We do need places to go. Oh, life is hard. [00:14:00] And this is a whole thing we’re both dealing with. This is this unique space we’re both dealing with. But I think what’s really cool is that. Sometimes those spaces instead give a spot for us to go, okay, but how are we gonna move forward?

Not leave it behind, not forget about it, but what’s the path forward? How do we heal? How do we look at different ways of existing? And sometimes there’s this like deep safety with another person, whether they’re creating it for us, we find that space together. However it works, it just changes.

Everything a little, just enough to get over the hump of the discomfort of where we’re at right

Alexandra: now. And it makes you feel like you’re not alone. And I think that’s the scariest part of the nonprofit space too, is. You feel so alone when you start a nonprofit because it hasn’t been done before.

You’re starting something that hasn’t been created, nobody else quite understands for a very long time. What you’re doing. Your family, your friends I’m sure everybody that starts a nonprofit has [00:15:00] someone in their life saying, what are you doing? Stop. Don’t do this.

It’s terrifying. And so even to just on your platform, be able to meet somebody else and realize. Oh, I’m not the only one going through this that already makes you feel safer to know that we’re not alone on this planet.

Tasha: There’s other people out here, and yeah. It’s just that little bit of shared experience.

And that safety net of going, oh, it’s here and yeah. How often we access it, the timeframe we need it for. And part of the thing you were talking about too, with making a friend, my biggest challenge has been in the past that when I make friends, I used to be like, oh my goodness, we have to be like all in deep.

And I think that’s a misconception of you. Times to go, actually, there’s lovely casual friends that actually sometimes those connections bring more opportunity into our lives than we realize, and the right moment will reveal either a next level for our connection or a collaboration like you’re talking about.

But if we try to force it just because then [00:16:00] sometimes I think we miss out on, actually you go much faster when the timing is at that right place. Absolutely.

Alexandra: Yes. And I think also, without getting too high in the sky here, there’s a certain energy that you give off when it’s forced versus when it really is something, a relationship that is happening when it’s supposed to happen, if you will. And it’s an energy less of desperation and more of enjoyment and then you feel the movement and you feel the momentum because you’re both excited to be in that space. And it results in something.

Much better on both ends. So it is worth waiting for that time and listening and knowing when you’re trying to force a relationship to happen versus when it’s actually a good fit for the time.

Tasha: Yeah,

Alexandra: absolutely.

Tasha: So the kind of wrap up question I usually have is, what have you gotten out of being a member of the nonprofit hive?[00:17:00]

Alexandra: What I’ve gotten out of being a member. Of the nonprofit hive. So many things, but I think like we touched on before a little bit, safety and understanding and community. I am not alone. But also, I’ve developed a new mindset around working together with those in similar spaces. Instead of gatekeeping.

I’ve discovered the power of sharing and doing this together, and I think you have inspired something so wonderful amongst a community that could be really separating their resources, really keeping their resources in. I think you’ve created something amazing. You’ve allowed all of these nonprofits to actually.

Grow because they’re sharing. And I think I’ve learned the power of community and the power of a group and what we can really do even for ourselves when we [00:18:00] do it together.

Tasha: Oh, thank you so much. This, is why I love doing these because I never say it as eloquently as anyone else.

’cause I think sometimes the passion gets too high of your own stuff and you just, motor mouth your way through it. And other people have such a beautiful way of explaining what I hope and dream the community is providing to others. So thank you I always like to wrap up again.

Tell us again, project Blackbird, how can people get in touch? What are ways that they can engage in services that you offer?

Alexandra: So again, project Blackbird in a nutshell. We provide awareness and access to care, including free therapy to numerous communities, but we really specialize in the student space.

So colleges, high schools, we wanna connect with as many colleges and high schools as possible as well. So if you have any connections with your alma mater, if you have children that go to a school that could use this program and the resources, please contact us. Our website is [00:19:00] www.projectblackbirdinc.org Instagram project Blackbird, INC.

You can reach out to me directly at alexandra@projectblackbirdinc.org or partnerships@projectblackbirdinc.org if you’re interested in partnering and helping to support us along the way. And support comes in many ways, so I hope to have the support of those viewing this right now.

Tasha: That’s amazing. I love it. I already can think of as soon as you started saying that, I was like, oh, I’ve got some people I have to introduce. So you’re a super connector over there. Sometimes someone says something and it just like sparks right in your brain. Thank you so much for doing this with me and just love your mission.

Love the energy you put out to the world and, just so thankful to have you as a member.

Alexandra: Thank you so much, Tasha. Thankful for you and all that you do.